I Wanted Words, But All I Got Was Nothing.

Hey! Ok...let's see how it all went down.

Dinner:
1 1/2 tbs. taco meat(75ish)
1 cup lettuce (7)
2 tbs. salsa (15)

Snack:
1 cup cranberry juice (40)
1 jello (10)

Total: 147

147+65= 212

That's the best I've ever down. Sad fact? I feel like i could have done better. Oh well. I'm ok with 212 calories in a day.

I was rereading a few of my old posts. It's kind of scary to think how my thoughts have changed. I mean, i was always focused on food, but before i thought 800 calorie days were great. Now I'm not even that happy about 212. What happened?

If You Ever Come Back.

Today feels like a good day. I managed to avoid eating a corndog and fries for lunch (300ish)...which is good. Sadly, i don't feel so good. My stomache is bloated and hurts...and i have diarea. Uhh.

Breakfast:
1 jello (10)
1 cup coffee (0)

Lunch:
Canned pears (30ish)
3/4 lettuce (5)
Tiny meat cube things (10?)

Snack:
1 jello (10)

Total: 65.

I'm smiling right now. Haha. I'm pretty darn pround. Oh, and i did exercise. I biked for a little over an hour (350?) and I did this stepping thing for like 10 min (50ish).

I think I'm just going to have a salad and then a frozen jello later one. I am honestly very tired...and i just checked my grade and math and i got it up. THANKFULLY! I now have a C- in it which is still terrible, but atleast i get my iPod back! :)
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PollyAnna: Haha, it sucks, right? Well i didn't actually do it today (stomach) but i'm hoping to soon. And I think I'll write more about my sax. playing later. I'll probably mention it in atleast a few more posts before this weekend.
Sofia: Yes, laughter truely is the best medicine (in my opinion)

Feel Free.

Hey! I'm back :)

Ok, i didn't embarress myself, and only D saw me in a swim suit. Good news

Bad news. I ate...alot. Ok, i didn't eat too badly untill yesterday...just today. I think i'll just say binge days and move on. I'm not counting calories...still. My plan is that tomorrow I'm just going to eat very little. Jello everybody! Haha. Actually for the rest of the week i'm barely goona eat (my terms.) The main reason is because i have this band thing next weekend, and it's kind of a big deal. Not many people get accepted, and i was one that did. I play alto saxophone. I'm pretty pumped :) I got a really pretty red dress and I'm wearing heels and everything (performance day). I just wanna look nice.

Basically that means barely eat and excersize ton. Speaking of working out, stupid everything. Huh. My calorie count was way off. Instead of burning 360 for 10 mil. on the bike, i only burned like 200...maybe. Now i'm goona also jog 400 met. walk 400 met. jog, walk. I think I'll just do a mile (i hate running!) and continue with the bike. I'm going to do that 4 days this week....and with the barely eating, i should be under 130 by the end of it.

My mom was joking with my brother...and somehow said she "tried to stay under 140".
My mom's bigger than me. Not much, but she's like 1 1/2 inches taller, and a size and half. I need to be atleast 10 pounds under her. I feel icky just thinking about that. I have to be smaller than her. I just do.

Imma go and shower and then watch some more Oscars.

Don't Know If I Could Ever Be Without You.

Hey! Ok, i need to hurry and pack for tomorrow (wrestling).

Dinner:
1 1/2 cup iceberg lettuce (10)
2 tbs. salsa (15)

Snack:
1 mixer (with water)
1 jello (10)

Total: 35
TOTALTotal: 336

Good mood :) I needed that. Pray i won't embarress myself infront of L. Oh, and D is coming...this should be fun :)

And my goal is under 1000 a day. I know, that's not really a goal, but it's going to be hard with everyone eating all day...but i will try.

I'll write soon. :)

I'm Still In Love With You.

Intake for today (so far) :

Breakfast:
1 jello cup (10)
1 cup coffee (0)

Lunch:
1/2 cup letuce (3)
1 chicken fried steak (200ish)
1/2 cup green beans (18)
1/2 cup canned peaches (50)

Snack:
1 jello cup (10)
1 mixer [with water] (10)

Total: 301

DANG. Haha, I'm happy. Plus i did end up going to the gym and biked 10 miles (360) and did a bunch of other excersizes...I'm thinking i burned like 400 all together...so right now I would be in the negatives. :)

I'm going to eat a salad for dinner, no matter what. And I think I'll have another jello cup. There the jiggle ones or whatever. I'm dead serious, i love them. When i have them for breakfast, I'm not so hungry. And for snacks they keep me full untill the next meal. I love them.:)

And ok, i kinda freaked out earlier. I found out this guy i kinda have thing for is STAYING with us at state wrestling. Like, he's goona sleep either on the bed or the floor next to me. Yeah. Thing is, he's into skinny girls. Yeah. Not that he would ever like TELL me I'm too big for him, but i feel like i am. But the plus is that he's taller than me...quite a bit so...and i don't know. Haha, that's just a plus.

My friend D might come with us...and she's a stick. Like she's my height (maybe taller) and she's 103. She told me that like a few months ago (randomly). She eats tho. She was always this short stick, and she just grew. She's also kinda pretty...i think I'm prettier...but she def. has the better body (mainly legs) but whatever. I sound horrible. Sorry.

I think I'll post later...not sure. I'm actually in a really great mood. :)

We Could Have Been Everything.

I know i haven't posted in a few days, which is forever for me, but I haven't had much to post. Seriously. My eating sucks. I'm goona change that. I started out great today, but then we had CCD and we ate the whole time. I seriously had 3 cupcakes. AND A TON OF FROSTING! Ugh.

I am FINALLY goona workout tomorrow. I'm thinking 10 miles biking (360) and like 100 calories on the ellipsor...haha i suddenly just like FORGOT what it's called. Oh well. I'm goona burn 500 calories, atleast off tomorrow, and i'm goona try to eat less than that. Reason why? State wrestling is this weekend, and i might be in a swimsuit. Ick. I'm goona try to just go to the sauna. I'm goona look up how much you can loose in one.

I guess you burn about 300-500 in 30mins...which is mainly water. Basically when i drink water afterwards i'll gain it all back. Crap, what if we don't have a sauna? I don't know, i promise I'll try to work out tho. I need it. I'm goona weigh myself Fri morning (no school because of the wrestling) before we go. I need to know how much damage I've done in the past week...

I'm also goona just reply to comments on here...i still don't know how to yet.
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PollyAnna: Thanks for the advice. And i ended up not trying the salt thing...i wanted to, but again, my mom was here. And i don't know if i could bring it up with her. She'd probably like freak out...she's crazy. Thanks tho.
Sofia: You honestly made me laugh when you offered to tutor me. Not in a mean way tho. Just in a "dang she's nice" way. Haha. And I guess i WAS just having one of those days. You comment did make me feel better tho. Thanks :)

Tell Me I'm A Wreck.

Ugh. Yeah, today sucked. Actually, it was great, untill the dang cookies were done. I didn't even attempt to count how many I had.

I'm goona start weighin' in every morning, i just feel better knowin' how much i gain after my stupid binges.

I'm getting really frusterated. Apparently my mom doesn't have to work which = no attmept SeaWater flush or whatever. And a doutful fast. I don't even think I'll try to fast. I don't know.

As you can tell, my day wasn't so hot. Apparently i have a D+ in Math. I know, I'm a retard. I can't believe i have that. I'm on the dink list. Basically means I'm stupid. I feel stupid. I feel worthless. I am worthless.