Disgusting.

I am horrible. I am disgusting. I am pathedic.

After having a pretty good day (under 1000 calories). Which may totally suck, yes, but for behing home all day...well it was extremely tempting...to say the least.

Then i had to fuck it up. (Excuse language from here on). I'm still so mad. Ok, just before going to bed i was like ,"Hey, I'm kinda hungry" and i can't sleep being hungry (pathedic) and so i ate a pudding cup. After wards i was like, "Hey, i'll check the calories" even though i knoew they were 60 (I looked them up on the internet once) well, fuck, fuck, fuck, they were 110. I could have had a granola bar or a apple sauce for that...and STILL have 10 calories left over.I was so mad that i kinda...sorta...ate half a box of cereal and a couple handful of disgusting chips that i don't even like (potatoe).

When i woke up i was just going to have a cup of coffee with creamer for breakfast...but then got told there was no school again...yay...(sarcasim). Then i went back to bed untill 11:30ish. I came downstairs and there is NO FRICKEN COFFEE LEFT! Gosh, yesterday i got a cup, and today...NONE! I was pissed, and i knew my mom must have taken it to work with her...without fricken asking if i wanted any. I even left the cup out NEXT TO IT so she'd know I wanted some.When she gets home I'm not even going to talk to her about it. She'd find a way to make it MY fault somehow.

I was pissed but i still weighed myself. Fucking 135.8. Means I GAINED .2. Which isn't to bad considering my binge but STILL! Ugh, i was so mad for breakfast i had a can of diet coke just because my mom hates it when i drink diet coke in the morning (aspertane= bad for brain) even though she wasn't even here...ugh, i'm still so mad that my goal is to basically only eat the stinged peas...if i ate the WHOLE bage I'd only be eating like 400ish calories...which would be okish. And to drink 2 more cans of diet coke (fills me up) and to have 2x16.9 fl. of water with only 1 mixer. Who knowz if this will work.

I'm feeling really depressed and sad right now. Any support comments? ):