And I Hope That You See Right Through These Walls.

I know, I haven't posted in awhile.

Busy.

Got back, a few hours ago, from state track. Did ok, i think? I don't know my split when i was running, but it felt good, so whatever.

I'm really tired.
Story of my life.

Guys are doushes, most atleast. I still should explain what happened with D.
Will some other day.

I wanna Fuckbuddy. No, not to actually have sex with (still 14) but just to mess around with. Kiss, Makeout, the works. Actually, that's basically it. I want to get my first kiss over with. I could...with this guy A.S...but i'm not attracted to him. He's younger too. He likes me, he told me, but i told him i didn't know. It's definitely a no tho.

I cut for the first time right before my last post. Sorry I didn't tell you. I did again a few other times. When I'm stressed, or crying, i do. Once crying, rest stressed. I really liked it. My friend M. asked me about it by my mom. My mom freaked out and I managed to blame it on the dog, and she said she'd cut his nails. I need a new place now. Maybe hip? No idea. They're all over my left arm. Obvious, right?

I'm so scared. I feel myself slowly changing. Mainly in a bad way. Help.