This Time, Right Now.

Ok, I'm back. I'm sorry about my little freak out. I couldn't write. The past couple of days have binge after painful binge. I don't even wanna guess my weight. Yes, it was that bad.

I decided that for now on, i will purge after binging. Why would i wanna do something terrible like that? Because i have a mini-phobia of puking. I think it's the whole crying and hating yourself, but i already feel terrible after i binge, and i can't keep all of it in me. I'll try it, but hopefully won't need it for a while.

Breakfast:
1 cookie (75)
1 cup coffee (0)

Lunch:
2/3 cup lettuce (5)
1/4 chicken patty with bun (150?)
1 serving green beans (40)

Total: 270

Not too bad. I wouldn't have had the patty, but i'm giving up meat for lent, and i thought that i should eat it. Oh, and my cousin A ate the rest. Haha. Sorry, i find that funny. She's been pretty mean to me lately, so i think that i can be kind of mean on my own blog, just sayin'.

Another thing: Track. Yeah, it's here...maybe. You see, everyone else isn't starting untill Spring Break, but my coach is hoping I'll start practicing with like 4 kids that are going to this inside meet soon. She wants me to long jump and do a sprint. I placed in Regionals last year (7th grade) and I broke the long jump record again last year, so I know i could do it, but I'm just thinking of the running. Yes, I know, pathedic, but I'd be running with these 3 girls that are studs, and this one studly boy. Intimidating. Plus my coach pushes you REALLY hard. Like untill you wanna cry. I kinda wanted to wait before i had to go through that again. But it would be good for me. I need to tell her tomorrow. I'm leaning more on doing it, but I'm not sure. Any thoughts?
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OliviaLee: I don't know when i would have came back if it weren't for you. I mean it. I'm still not feeling any better (about myself) but thanks for letting me know you understood.