I'm Goona Try Harder.

Track practice: Ha! Let's just say we barely did anything AND guess what? I kept up with the stud. Actually J (stud) and I were talking the whole time. It was actually almost fun. Haha, i like that i can relate to her while she's a junior and I'm just a little 8th grader. (Haha, little...right.)

Breakfast:
1 oatmeal (130)
1 cup coffee (0)

Lunch:
1 1/3 cup lettuce (10)
1 small apple (70)

Snack:
1 diet coke (0)

Total:210

So far so good, i guess. I knew i shouldn't have had that oatmeal, but i read online that people that don't eat enough breakfast usually snack all day and weigh the most. I don't know what I'll eat tomorrow. Maybe the same, maybe not.

Weight: 134.6 [-.5]

I know, i still weigh a ton. I think It's because how much I'm eating. I've averaging around 600 cal. a day, when i used to average about 300. Sadly, i kind of like the 600 because then i don't feel hungry...like at all. I don't know, I have no idea what i want right now.

I'm not sure what I'm having for dinner. I really like how i gave up meat for lent. The reason why is because it's so darn easy not eating as much. Plus i had to finish my math test and so left early. I think i did ok. I hope i did ok. :)

OMGOSH! I ALMOST forgot to tell you! Ok, so one of the reasons i was so upset last week or whenever was because i found out L and S liked each other! Well...it seemed like they did, i don't know now. But guess what? L SAT DOWN NEXT TO ME AND STARTING TALKING! Ok, for most guys this isn't a big deal...but L's different. He doesn't sit down and talk to people unless he really wants to. Yeah. Oh and we've been making a lot of eye contact. He has this dark dark hair, almost black, and these perfectly brown eyes, again, really dark. He's taller and really muscular, and extremely funny. Bonus: my family and his family used to be good friends (not sure why they aren't anymore?) He's gorgous, and he's sooooooo not a player. *sigh* :)

This Time, Right Now.

Ok, I'm back. I'm sorry about my little freak out. I couldn't write. The past couple of days have binge after painful binge. I don't even wanna guess my weight. Yes, it was that bad.

I decided that for now on, i will purge after binging. Why would i wanna do something terrible like that? Because i have a mini-phobia of puking. I think it's the whole crying and hating yourself, but i already feel terrible after i binge, and i can't keep all of it in me. I'll try it, but hopefully won't need it for a while.

Breakfast:
1 cookie (75)
1 cup coffee (0)

Lunch:
2/3 cup lettuce (5)
1/4 chicken patty with bun (150?)
1 serving green beans (40)

Total: 270

Not too bad. I wouldn't have had the patty, but i'm giving up meat for lent, and i thought that i should eat it. Oh, and my cousin A ate the rest. Haha. Sorry, i find that funny. She's been pretty mean to me lately, so i think that i can be kind of mean on my own blog, just sayin'.

Another thing: Track. Yeah, it's here...maybe. You see, everyone else isn't starting untill Spring Break, but my coach is hoping I'll start practicing with like 4 kids that are going to this inside meet soon. She wants me to long jump and do a sprint. I placed in Regionals last year (7th grade) and I broke the long jump record again last year, so I know i could do it, but I'm just thinking of the running. Yes, I know, pathedic, but I'd be running with these 3 girls that are studs, and this one studly boy. Intimidating. Plus my coach pushes you REALLY hard. Like untill you wanna cry. I kinda wanted to wait before i had to go through that again. But it would be good for me. I need to tell her tomorrow. I'm leaning more on doing it, but I'm not sure. Any thoughts?
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OliviaLee: I don't know when i would have came back if it weren't for you. I mean it. I'm still not feeling any better (about myself) but thanks for letting me know you understood.

I Can't Take Glory In Something I Can't Be.

Breakfast:
1 cupcake (200?)

Lunch:
1 1/3 lettuce (12)
2 tbs. cottage cheese (140)
1 tbs. fat free yogurt (30?)

Snack:
1 jello (10)

Total: 392.

Output: 230ish

I'm still ashamed. I can't talk. I'm sorry.