Yes!

Weight: 130.4 [-1.8]

Yes! :) 500 for today tho, my tummy feels messed up?

Please Come Back Home.

Dinner:
1 peice of pizza (200?)

Snack:
1 diet coke (0)
1 oatmeal (130)

Total: 330.

210+330= 540.

I know pizza is usually more than that, but since i didn't eat the topping (meat) i think it should be around here. No promises. And I'm not even hungry but I'm eating the oatmeal. I love having the choice. :)

Don't Give Up On Me, Baby.

Dinner:
1/2 BBQ sandwich (75)
1 corn on the cob (100)

Snack:
1 oatmeal (130)

Total: 305

305+270= 575

Not very good, i know, but i needed the oatmeal. I felt like binging. I can't do that.

I decided i will go to the indoor track meet soon, which means practice. I'll offically have 4 days of really hard work (300-400 cals burned) I'm already nervious. I think that's what triggered the almost binge.

My brother's sellin' these chocolate peanut butter bear things out of a catologe for school. I really wanna buy a box of them, but i know I won't eat them untill i feel like binging. Then I will. Then I'll purge, because i'm mad at myself. I know how, but I'm already scared. Maybe this will be the motivation to not binge. Who knows?

We Could Have Been Everything.

I know i haven't posted in a few days, which is forever for me, but I haven't had much to post. Seriously. My eating sucks. I'm goona change that. I started out great today, but then we had CCD and we ate the whole time. I seriously had 3 cupcakes. AND A TON OF FROSTING! Ugh.

I am FINALLY goona workout tomorrow. I'm thinking 10 miles biking (360) and like 100 calories on the ellipsor...haha i suddenly just like FORGOT what it's called. Oh well. I'm goona burn 500 calories, atleast off tomorrow, and i'm goona try to eat less than that. Reason why? State wrestling is this weekend, and i might be in a swimsuit. Ick. I'm goona try to just go to the sauna. I'm goona look up how much you can loose in one.

I guess you burn about 300-500 in 30mins...which is mainly water. Basically when i drink water afterwards i'll gain it all back. Crap, what if we don't have a sauna? I don't know, i promise I'll try to work out tho. I need it. I'm goona weigh myself Fri morning (no school because of the wrestling) before we go. I need to know how much damage I've done in the past week...

I'm also goona just reply to comments on here...i still don't know how to yet.
___________________________________________________________
PollyAnna: Thanks for the advice. And i ended up not trying the salt thing...i wanted to, but again, my mom was here. And i don't know if i could bring it up with her. She'd probably like freak out...she's crazy. Thanks tho.
Sofia: You honestly made me laugh when you offered to tutor me. Not in a mean way tho. Just in a "dang she's nice" way. Haha. And I guess i WAS just having one of those days. You comment did make me feel better tho. Thanks :)

I Don't Know What Happened.

Hi. I'm not quite sure what yesterday's total was...but I do know it had to be under 1000, atleast. I know, it was atleast under that. So far today:

Breakfast:
1 cup coffee (0)

Lunch:
1 cup lettuce (7)
1 serving mandarin oranges (77)

Snack:
1 Sunny D (50)
1 cookie (100?)

Total: 234

Ok, i had a ton of carrots also (baby ones) but i found out that they are negative calories. That means that yes, they DO have calories, but it takes MORE calories to burn them. I lose calories for eating them, so i just kinda ignored that i ate them.

Ok, and I'm pretty happy about this. I shouldn't have had the Sunny D or the cookie, but i REALLY wanted one. Pathedic, right? Oh! And i do still chew gum...but i don't count the calories. First, there aren't a ton, second, i need it to live on. I don't know, i just figure it won't be too bad to have a few peices a day.

I'm not sure what I've having for dinner, but I'm hoping to not eat very much. I'm goona try to make up for yesterday and-well- every other day for like the past week. I need to.

You Don't Know Me. Don't Ignore Me. If You Had Your Way You'd Just Shut Me Out.

Tired. Word of my life. I'm totally exhausted. Practice was bad, I was so pathedic i didn't think i could finish the last ladder. I got super dizzy and had a horrible headache. I need to eat more on practice days. I can't take another one like today.

Breakfast:
1 cup coffee (0)
2 tiny frozen fruit things (50?)

Lunch:
1 medium banana (105)
2 cups lettuce (14)
Tiny cubes of meat (10?)
1 tbs. ranch (70)

Snack:
8 Fl. v8 (50)


Dinner:
1 diet coke (0)
1 popcorn (100)

Total: 399

I know, I was only supposed to have 361 calories today, and i would have had 349 but i felt so dizzy i needed something, which is the v8. I NEEDED the calories. I'll go 600 tomorrow because of practice. I should eat more, i know i should, but i can't. I have to be 130. I just NEED to, ya know? Plus 600 is about 200 more than today. That should really help at practice, i hope.  I don't know.

On a good note, my jeans that i wore last week are really lose. Serisouly. I wore them today, and almost needed a belt. That means that i COULDN'T have gain...right?

Do I End Up, Do I End Up Happy?

Total: 859

Ewww. I had that soup, luckily just one serving, and i was kinda happy gettin' away with just one. (It was incredible, seriously) I went to CCD and then got home. I just had a Sunny D (50). I know i shouldn't have, but i was craving one. My limit was 720 and since i got 859 that means i can have 361 tomorrow. Imma aim for lower. I know, I know, that's horrible, only eating that much, but i have to. I'm so scared i didn't lose anything. And i heard that you metabolism is messed up if you don't confused it by changing you calorie intake daily, like it can go into starvation motion or whatever. I don't know.

Tomorrows breakfast will be coffee and nothing, absolutely nothing. Lunch tomorrow is chili and french bread, good thing i hate chili and tell everyone i don't really like the bread. It "tastes like super fake cheese with too much grease." Haha. Well people believe it when in reality i actually really like it. I'll eat a salad and maybe some carrots? Neg. calories on the carrots so i think i will.

I'm working concessions tomorrow night also, which means it will be REALLY tempting being by all the food. I'll make sure to just have a popcorn and a diet coke. Maybe two diet cokes. I don't know. That is of course after practice, which will totally kill. It's goona be hard, real hard. Good thing my body needs it. Bad.

 I'm so worried for Sat. morning (weigh in) that i'm not sure what to do. What if i didn't lose anything? What if i gained?

I'm Only Perfect In Weakness.

Breakfast:
1 hard boiled egg (70)
1 cup coffee (0)

Lunch:
2 cups lettuce (14)
1 Tbs. ranch (75)
1/2 cup baked beans (170)
1/2 cup mixed fruit(80)
1Tbs. peanut butter (90)
1 peice white bread (70)

Snack:
1 diet coke (0)

Total: 569

I feel disgusting. Plus my mom's making cheeseburger chowder soup (240ish) per serving. Ouch. I was sooo hungry during lunch today, and i just don't know why. I should have stopped. I should have. I guess my rule was that if i went over the next day then i'd take how ever many i went over and not eat that much less. Well, since i was under since i started, i can go as high as 720 before i can't eat 500 tomorrow. Ugh, i have a fear i won't be eating very much tomorrow at all. For lunch i will not eat this much...ever again.

And breakfast? Forget it.

Early.

Ugh, too early to be alive. Had to finish this homework thing this morning, that's why I'm awake at 6:26.
Decided I'll have a small hard boiled egg (70) for breakfast and coffee (0). Just thought I'd write that down now.

Did great last night, really did only eat that popcorn. I'll write later (after school). Imma go and try to sleep for a half an hour.

Just Kidding!

Ok, just kidding! My total will be like 427 i just had a serving of cheetos because i'm hungry :)

Totals.

Hey! Sorry I didn't post yesterday, i honestly had no time. I think I'm doing pretty darn good! Haha, let me just total the calories before i get too excited.
Breakfast:
1 cup coffee (0)

Snack:
4 peices gum (20)

Lunch
1 cup lettuce (7)
1/2 cup taco meat (211)
1/2 cup canned peaches (35)

Dinner:
Popcorn (100)
1 diet coke (0)
1 diet pepsi (0)

Total: 353


Breakfast:
1 cup coffee (0)

Snack:
4 peices gum (20)

Lunch:
1 cup lettuce (7)
1/2 cup turkey (120)
3/4 cup carrots (40)

Dinner:
Popcorn (100)
1 diet coke (0)


Total: 267

Yes! Haha, that's incredible for me! I'm soooo happy! Plus I've had basketball everyday, and so i've been sweating alot :) Oh! And the reason why i have popcorn for dinner all the time is because we have games almost every night this week, and popcorn is as low in calories as i can get. I REALLY am craving pizza tho, but i just won't let myself! And i haven't eaten dinner yet, i just will only allow myself that. I can do it.

My fear is that i won't lose any weight. What would happen? I'd freak out, that's what. I'm averaging 300 cal. a day, and i NEED to be 130 by Sat. Yes, i changed it. I was goona weigh myself on Fri. but i figure i might need an extra day, plus i don't think I'll have time in the morning. I've been having alot of troubles sleeping.

And yes, i am finally having plain coffe. I still think it's too bitter, but i'm sucking it up for now. Maybe I'll add creamer next week, maybe not.

I'll write tomorrow after school. I better go and get ready for our scrimage! :)